Hash Trash

These are reports of our past runs (but we don’t let the truth get in the way of a good story).

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HVH3 #344 | Sink or Swim #5

cockmonkey’s log, beerdate 9.17.2017

Start: Kellogg Hill Rd, Hatfield

Hares: Orgasm Banshee & Two Minute Ride

Pack: Suckit Wrench, cockmonkey, Big Piles, Emergency Medical Tits, Butterknife Buczechi

“There is no I in Team, but there is in Penis.” – Emergency Medial Tits.

Well, yesterday there was a Juggalo March in Washington, DC. Today we had a clown themed hash. These two things were actually unrelated.

Anyways. Trail. We had one. It was gorgeous out and a great day to get all wet. I’m also happy to report no one was killed by a motorboat.

Highlights of the trail included watching people attempt to put on clown face paint, pickles, EMT as a kayak figurehead, and a funeral/memorial service. Yeah, that wasn’t awkward to come across as we were ending trail.

Well, the hares got us all wet, trail was (VERY) clearly marked, and balls were all clean. Our First Swimmer In was Suckit Wrench (somehow), Floating Bitch In was EMT, and our Deadman’s Float Last was Big Piles.

By the way, have you seen the knife he has on his life jacket? Seems to be a thing raft guides need now. Or so he says…

And yes, we did sing “My Name is Jack.”

Other drinks were drunk for use of Nerd Names (EMT, Butterknife Buczechi, and cockmonkey), being “Taint Punched by a Tree” (Two Minute Ride), Losing a beer can in the river (Big Piles), and Failure to adhere to theme (Big Piles, EMT, Suckit Wrench, and Orgasm Banshee).